Parenting — a Joyful Responsibility
Parenting to me is a stewardship of young lives, empowering them to becoming who they are destined to be.
Parenting is not deciding for our children but rather helping them decide for themselves.
A parent is a leader and a light.
A light is a beautiful image. It softly touches us and is easy to follow. We can see the light even when afar. A light serves as a guide that anyone can decide to follow. It attracts us to get close to it. And a light is most important during the darkest moments.
I am a single parent of four children. I am the breadwinner and I raised them consciously, knowing what I want for them.
Knowing What I Want for My Kids:
This does not mean that I decide what profession or degree that they will take. Or where they should be or go. Knowing what I want means that I know exactly what kind of individuals I want them to be — responsible citizens, conscientious Christians, respectful children, with high emotional quotient, principle-centered leaders.
EMPOWERMENT — What it is and what it’s not
Empowerment is giving the power to decide and to act. It’s not commanding; nor manipulating someone to do something or to act because of fear.
Empowerment is equipping my children with the tools to succeed. It is helping our kids to have the courage to decide on their own and teaching them how to consider the pros and cons. It is immersing them in principles that they will imbibe so that they have the inner compass 24-7, everyday, everywhere, with or without me, even when no one is watching.
I’m blessed that I realized EARLY ENOUGH that I will not be with my kids all the time. I cannot watch over them every moment of the day and night to protect them from external forces, from people who would intentionally or unintentionally want to harm them; from personal mistakes and wrong judgments; from hurts and harms. I cannot tell them not to do the wrong thing because “I will get angry or get hurt” because that could be sending the wrong message that “it’s ok as long as mom doesn’t know. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt.” I didn’t resort to punishments because I can’t punish if I don’t know. This would encourage my kids to hide from me. And so I decided early on as a young mom then, that I should help them acquire the “internal compass” to guide them in every challenge and victory; pain and joy; rejection and acceptance; hurt and love. So that they will decide on their own TO DO THE RIGHT THING ALL THE TIME.
I told them, “I don’t want you to do things because you want to please me. Nor do I want you not to do things because I will get angry. I want you to do things because they are the right thing to do and they are what is best for you.”
Internal conflicts and dilemmas can be avoided if one is clear with principles which are templates for moving towards a successful and happy life. There is no conflicts if one lives by integrity.
In the end, they will be comfortable with oneself; be able to build genuine friendships; be self-assured to the point that they can laugh at their own mistakes; be humble to say “I’m sorry”; be confident to take on challenges; be generous with their time, praises and resources; have genuine relationships with God and have a happy, healthy life.
This site will discuss the principles that have worked for raising 4 unique individuals.
Welcome and I hope you will find my articles helpful in raising your kids, running your household and empowering children and achieving financial freedom at the same time.
I will include principles, anecdotes, experiences and tips. I hope you will enjoy reading and I welcome your comments and questions.